How I Have Been Finding Lockdown
Hey gals, happy hump day hope you're all doing well. I thought that this weeks blog post should be on something that we can all relate to, lockdown. I live in the UK (wales to be exact) and we have been on lockdown now since March 23rd, which sounds crazy now considering we are basically in June. I know a lot of people have taken to lockdown in all sorts of ways starting businesses, getting new hobbies, some have struggled and others are just living life as normal and going to work. I thought by writing this I might reassure some of you, by telling you how my lockdown experience has been....
Start Of Lockdown
Not going to lie, I was kind of excited. I love nothing more than chilling at home in my pjs on my days off, playing sims and watching Netflix. So when lockdown was approaching and the announcements in work sounded like we were closing I was so excited for some time off. Laughing and joking with my work mates telling them I would see them next year absolutely naive to the facts, as I couldn't myself register what was happening as everything in the UK was kept very hush hush. So in my head we would have about 3 weeks off then everything would be fine, and I think thats what a lot of my colleagues thought also.The day lock down was announced myself and several other people had to go into work to do a full on 'close down'. I work in retail so as you can imagine tills need cashing up, money needs collecting and items need locking away. I was a really weird feeling I felt like we were closing down, I was so emotional. I got home kind of in shock of what had just happened and was glued to the news all night long.
The first few days were kind of like days off from work, I did way to much research on China, Covid 19 and global pandemics, looking back now I really regret. I spent the time chilling out, pampering myself (and my boyfriend) and playing The Sims.
I would say about 2 weeks in is when things really took their tole on me. There was a lot of bad press about the company I work for, so I started to get super stressed over losing my job. Which led to my poor boyfriend getting the brunt of that, when I say this I mean it anything would pi** me off, he would literally leave one thing out of place and I would lose it (I guess also I am not used to living with a boy, THEY are MESSY!!). I was just an absolute emotional mess, one day I literally dropped a frozen chicken burger on the floor and cried. It was honestly so bloody weird.
Middle (about 4 weeks in)
Not going to say things improved massively because they didn't, however things got a little better. The death rate in the UK was literally rising by the hour it was so scary, I would not leave the house to even go to the shops. I did manage to get myself in a bit of a routine by this point, I started making to do lists (really recommend this) and also started setting an alarm and doing yoga in the morning to give myself a little purpose to my day.
I re started my Instagram I have always been obsessed with making my instagram look nice, but stopped about a year ago due to many factors. So I decided I would get back into that and take pictures again, this has really helped me. I have been trying to upload everyday and been doing my make up and stuff to take photos so I have kind of treated it as 'work', even though I don't get paid. It just helps structure my day a little.
By now I had structure, had learnt how to live with a messy boy and was feeling better within myself, I was cramming my head with positivity which was helping and any negative thoughts I would just get rid of. However the 3 emails a week from the company I worked for would really challenge me and non of them carried good news.
I did have the odd wobble where I would find myself so unmotivated and sad, but I at this point could bring myself out of that runt. During these weeks I learnt that I am quite an introvert, I love my own time and space which is hard to do while you're practically living in a room with someone for weeks... I would sometimes separate myself from my boyfriend some days and just do my own thing downstairs, I found this helped a lot it was like a normal day, where I would just see him at tea time (not that I don't want to talk to him lol).
Current Day (10 weeks in)
I cannot believe I have just counted 10 weeks, I feel like its gone so quick despite all the hick ups along the way. Currently I am living an absolute nightmare, have had a huge argument with my mum and am thinking about moving in with my dad. Which I can tell you it is absolutely draining living with someone who wont speak to you, without an argument.
My work is looking more positive and looks like we will reopen when restrictions lift, which is a huge weight lifted off my shoulders.. Not even due to money worries, purely because I absolutely love my job and the people I work with.
Me and my boyfriend have learnt to live with each-other, he has also adapted to my neat freak ways and knows to put away his clothes and not leave them everywhere. Living with him 24/7 has made me so excited for when we get a house together, feel like we have both grown and had to learn to compromise (The XBOX!!!).
Wales are a little behind England in all the restrictions lifting, so at the moment I am still not able to work but it will be interesting to know how shops in England re open in the coming weeks. I will admit I am so apprehensive about going back to work, and quite negative that it'll be safe enough, so we will see.
5 Things I Have Learnt About Myself During Lockdown...
1. I do not say yes to enough things- There has been many occasions where someone has asked me to go out or go shopping and I have made some excuse, I wish I would of said yes to more things pre lockdown.
2. I do not see my family enough- This is a hard one as we are all adults so only have ourselves to blame, but after lockdown, I will sure as hell be visiting my family more even if it is only for 5 minutes.
3. I like my alone time- I am hella clingy (pre lockdown) and if my boyfriend rather go on xbox I would get offended, however I have found I need my alone time, much more than I ever thought. So I am going to value my own time a lot more as things go back to normal
4. My boyfriends my rock- This time last year I was a mad independent woman that would never of wanted to rely on a man again, however I have found my boyfriend to be my absolute life saver through all this! I don't think I would of got through it in one piece without him.
5. I spend way to much time on my phone - I think this is understandable at the moment as I haven't seen anyone in 10 weeks. However I have found myself countlessly scrolling on facebook and instagram. So I will be trying to have a little detox when I am back in work thats for sure.
To conclude, I just want you all to know there is no right or wrong way to do lockdown, if you have discovered a new hobby or stayed in bed all day then congrats. Don't feel pressured by other peoples actions, and don't be sucked in by the happy happy social posting. I can hand on heart tell you now theres been days, where I have uploaded selfies looking glam and all put together on insta - 3 hours later I have been having a complete meltdown about how unhappy I am. There is no right or wrong guys, you do you and whatever gets you through this very weird time, you do that.
Thank you for reading, all my love
Mel
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