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I ended it..
My friends and family told me for months that he wasn't good for me, I can do better and that I shouldn't feel like this constantly. However I was so "in love" I didn't even realise how truthful they were all being. It is so hard to admit to someone you love that their not right for you, admitting they're making you feel awful especially when you wear your heart on your sleeve, and would never want to make anyone sad...
I found this while looking for some inspiration for this post, I understand saying a relationship/person is toxic is a big thing and realising yourself is even more of a bigger deal! However all I have done recently is defend this person treating me like trash when really I was in a toxic relationship..
Here are some signs to look out for when assessing whether you are in a toxic or harmful relationship:
- You don’t feel good enough. You feel like nothing you do is quite right and are constantly trying to prove your worth. You constantly seek the other person’s validation.
- You can’t be yourself. You feel you have to walk on eggshells and monitor everything you say and do. You feel you need to think twice before you speak as certain topics are off limits, and you feel you have to act or behave a certain way. You’re afraid to bring things up because you’re not sure how the other person will react.
- The other person puts you down.
- You feel like the problem. The other person doesn’t take responsibility for their actions and instead blames you. They attribute any problems or difficulties in the relationship as all your fault.
- You start to withdraw from participating in activities or seeing people in your life.
(REF Mental Heath )
Ending something is never easy. I found with my relationship it ended a while ago and while all couples argue, fall out and ignore each other, I had enough. Enough of not making plans on a Saturday night because he would assume I was cheating on him, not coming home and staying in his constantly because that would mean I didn't love him, thinking twice before I said or did anything as it would spark a row.
Girls & Boys...
It has been a whole month now, and I can confirm the line "you get better with time" is very much true! I have seen my friends so much these last few weeks and also met some new friends! I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulder! Its such a hard time and all I can advise is to go with your gut! You shouldn't be with someone that doesn't make you happy. I have the biggest fear of being alone, however being alone right now feels a damn lot better than feeling sh*tty every week and tip toeing around my own life to please someone else!
Thank you so much if you have taken the time to read this post! I understand it isn't my usual make up/skincare post however I hope this helps someone, If you need anyone to talk to then by all means message me on instagram (its on the right side bar). If you have been through a similar situation feel free to leave your advice in the comments!
Love
mel
8 comments
I'm very pleased to hear you realised your worth! I know it's a hard decision and you should be very proud of yourself for getting out. This time to work on yourself again will be the best. I'm very happy for you! xx
ReplyDeleteThank you, it took 2 years to realise but I am so happy right now with how far I have come in just sort of a month! xxx
DeleteVery beautiful and truthfull post. I am really happy for you that you are starting to move on and hanging out with friends more. Being surrounded by people who support you is very important in such times.
ReplyDeleteJanja | http://seekingwonderful.wordpress.com
Thank you so much! So am I, it's been such a difficult decision to come to terms with but I think I am doing pretty well! 100% my friends and family are truly amazing! x
DeleteGood for you!! I’ve been in a toxic relationship before and as hard as it is to end things you will most definitely feel better with time!! So glad you saw your worth and got out before he broke you!! You are amazing!! So proud of you xxx
ReplyDeleteFirst of all I'd like to say that I'm so glad you got out of that relationship! I have been through hell and back with a lot of relationships in the past and it's just so wrong to be in a toxic one. You can now have a clean slate and I'm sure your family and friends will always be there for you! Xx
ReplyDeleteMary // http://marychronicles.wordpress.com
Thank you so much for sharing this post, I'm sure so many have felt what your feeling and are going though what you are! I hope things start to get better and that you start to feel better, I'm happy to hear that you are in a better place in your life now. I hope you will be back to blogging soon, although take as much time as you need, everyone will be here when you get back! xx
ReplyDeleteI couldn't agree with this post more. I know it must be such a difficult time for you right now but you will thank yourself for being so strong. I can relate to this post. It was a long time ago now and I'm so glad the relationship ended. Now I have a wonderful partner who I believe who never treat me that way. I'm very proud of you. Stay strong its worth it. You are worth it! x
ReplyDelete